Open wider please

So today I got my chompers clean, Ya I’m talking teeth

With two hands in your orifice, its kinda hard to breathe

You start to sweat and squirm, as that light beats on your face

When mister dentist says to floss, you think man get off my case

The only tools I like in my mouth, are really forks and spoons

Well and of course a toothbrush, but sharp ones, no thank you

How uncomfortable it is, to be that close to someone else

Without either of you speaking, as they look inside your chops

And those flavors for the polish, man who came up with those

Strawberry, are you kidding me, only if I can swallow

Then rinse and use the awkward vacuum tool as it sucks on your cheek

And then giving you a free toothbrush is supposed to make your week

Well sorry dentist man, but I don’t really like what you do

Thanks for cleaning my teeth, but I would just rather not see you

Which is why I brush my teeth three times a day

And not a cavity or a filling is getting in my way

It's just an awkward visit, you can't talk or say a thing

Which is why if you are dentist, you must be entertaining

Ya I think they should be story tellers, as they work on your maw

Then as they tell their tale, I can at least spit out Oooo or Ahhhh

But now that I think about it, if my mouth is open wide

My Ooos and Ahhhs will all sound like Ahhhs, with his darn fists inside