If you really knew me

So people. I’m on the basketball team and we have our own team psychologist that works with us right? This fancy lady that knows all about how people think and what people are going to do next and how to fix problems. Oh wait that sounds a lot like God, how does she know all that? Right she doesn’t. She’s a pretender. Yep I said it. A pretender. And we believe her!  So today I believed her when she told me that people really don’t know me. Like really know me. I thought to myself, lady you are right! There is so much people don’t know about me. So she had us all go around the room and say the phrase “If you really knew me you would know…..fill in the blank.” This has got me thinking about what people really don’t know about me so I thought I would share some.

If you really knew me you would know that I broke my foot falling off a horse

If you really knew me you would know that I secretly love to wear slippers

If you really knew me you would know that I got a mole burnt off my neck three years ago

If you really knew me you would know that I workout out to screaming music

If you really knew me you would know that I am super organized

If you really knew me you would know that I failed math my sophomore year

If you really knew me you would know that I eat grapes like a bag of chips

If you really knew me you would know that I listen to classical music every morning

If you really knew me you would know that I haven’t eaten a hot dog in years because my puppy choked on one and died and the sight of one almost brings me to tears

If you really knew me you would have pulled the bs flag on at least the third line about the mole on my neck. People, the mole is still there. 

Yes, if you really knew me you wouldn't have believed me just like I believed the psychologist who pretends to know all things like God. 

Look at how easy it is to believe people. You so easily just fell into the nice delicate trap I set up for you. You believed it and I had you going. You felt like you were really getting to know me but nope, you weren’t.