Forty Days and Forty Nights....Yikes!

So lent has started. Forty days and forty nights of sacrificing your favorite things are what we have to look forward to. As I dug my hand into our candy bowl last night I realized shortly after, I gave up sweets for lent. I unwillingly stuck them back in the bowl and wondered to myself, what the heck are you thinking? Honestly. But then I realized I could really improve myself by doing this so it’s worth it. Now some of you out there may be Catholic bashers and I’m fine with that. You bash away my friends. For those of you who happen to be Catholic I’m sure you got asked several times what was on your forehead. Don’t be shamed people. I look at it this way. God, yes, even God has a sense of humor. He does not want that cross up on our forehead for people to point and say, “Oh look there’s the Catholic, haha.” No, no, he has us do that so we can be creative and try to come up with a different answer to tell people every time they ask why there is black stuff on our foreheads. He is a funny guy, he really is. If he didn’t have a sense of humor then there would be no such thing as humor itself. So as prep for next year we will try and come up with ten different answers to tell people when they tell you that you have something on your face.

1. “Is it shaped like a cross? Ok good.”
2. “Well I was going for the artist look today. You know charcoaly?”
3. “Dude, I know, I just got done cleaning my chimney.”
4. “Ah man! I told grandma not to kiss me on the forehead when she wears black lipstick! That’s so embarrassing.”
5. “You would not believe what just happened. I just got attacked by the dust bunny and he slapped me on the face.”
6. (If the cross is very evident) “It was like that when I woke up. I sinned yesterday. I think God has shunned me with this black cross, so when I look in the mirror I remember he’s mad at me.”
7. “Oh crap. I work at a funeral home. We turned someone into ashes today.”
8. “I’m a pyromaniac.”
9. “My toaster started on fire this morning. Things got ugly.”
10. “I do? Wow, no one else has said a thing to me.”

Well here we are starting this Lenten journey with another Ash Wednesday behind us. Next year you will be prepared. No matter what religion you are though, try giving something up just to see if you can. I dare ya. God’s a good dude, and someday, in the event that mankind actually figures out what it is that this world revolves around, millions of people are going to be shocked and perplexed to find out that it was not them….this includes me. Which is why I think the least we can do is give up something we love for forty days for the guy.