Spiritual Struggle

This past week has been one of those I’d like to call a “spiritual slump”. Everybody experiences it at some point, some longer than others, but for those who understand what I mean, it’s that feeling of no progress. I don’t mean this in the physical, or materialistic aspect. I mean it in the spiritual sense. When we think of progress anymore, we think of it in terms of new and better things; more knowledge, more money, more possessions. Better technology, better theories, better ways to improve our lives; but in all those ways, few are on the progress of the soul. A year ago from now I was in a spiritual slump. The only difference then was I wasn’t aware of it. Why? My progress was focused on everything from my skin outward and what I could gain. Progress within, I lacked, and I didn’t even know it. I was content. That is the biggest trap we fall into as individuals: Being content and denying reality. To deny that the world we are living in has, yes I will use the word “progressively”, become worse is in fact denying the very idea that we are in a spiritual battle.

So what happened this past week with me? Not that anyone else would have noticed but I didn’t measure up to the standards and goals I have set for myself. I wasn’t disciplined. And just as any athlete or any individual trying to work their way up the corporate ladder knows, without discipline there is no progress. What makes us become undisciplined? If things are going so great one way, why do we try another? Here’s why. The spiritual warfare. In my journey of soul searching I have found that the more I try to stay on the path of the straight and narrow the more I am tempted by the other side to step off of it. The devil doesn’t want us to win! He doesn’t like to see us succeed! That is what this fight is all about though. Walking with God is not easy. It is a FIGHT. It’s a decision you have to make every single day in every single moment. A soldier does not decide to join the Army, shoot a gun once and automatically win the war. It is an ongoing battle. We have to wake up every single day and make a decision to follow God yet again. It’s not supposed to be easy. If it were easy our nation would not be in the morally toxic state it is in, we wouldn’t be bankrupt and there would not be turmoil in the church. If it were easy to follow God obediently everyone would be doing it. But it’s not easy.

A person doesn’t just share their testimony of how they were saved and expect that because they are now a Christian they will never have to suffer. Sorry, but if you haven’t noticed, a Christian in today’s society suffers immensely, if he or she stands by their faith. Suffering is what brings you closer to God. But how many people do we meet from day to day and leave the conversation thinking, “Wow, that person loves God, they are what being a Christian is all about.” My guess is not very many, because it is not popular to speak of our Creator. It’s like saying Voldemort out loud in the Harry Potter Series. Only Voldemort is more comparable to the devil. Can you imagine if our society was that way? If speaking of sin and the devil that created it caused everyone around you to hush you and tell you not to speak of that name. Don’t think that J.K. Rowling was original in creating Harry Potter’s story. When any kid wishes he could be Harry Potter all he has to do is face reality and realize that we are fighting an even more intense battle. Harry Potter is a mild version of what is actually going on around us. Where is the magic then? In prayer! There is genius in prayer. I say this because that is one thing I got away from this past week. Praying. I’m not talking about the kind of prayer where you ask God, “Okay I am going in for a job interview tomorrow, please help me get the job.” I’m talking about the kind of prayer where you are talking to God about your life like he is sitting next to you. I’m talking about the kind of prayer where you forget your surroundings and delve into his presence. The kind of prayer where a person can fully understand the verse “Be still and know that I am God.” I got away from that, and it showed. Distractions, distractions, distractions. Noise. Noise. And more noise. Silence is a gift. Cherish it. I can learn more in an hour of silence than I could a year of schooling.

I was talking to a friend last night and I asked him, “What do you do when you know you are in a slump, when you are being tempted by sin and can’t seem to conquer it.” He then explained to me that he does one of two things. He either imagines the temptation, however great or small as a pitch being thrown at him as he stands on home plate. And just as the temptation reaches him he swings the bat of resistance and knocks it out of the park and imagines himself running the bases. I would throw in that standing at home plate to greet my victory and me is Jesus himself giving me a high five. “That”, he says, “Or I just imagine my guardian angel with his sword and shield standing out in front of me ready to whoop some ass.” I liked that one, because honestly, that’s what we are doing whether we are aware or not. When we put on the armor of God and fight we are staying disciplined in our duties as soldiers. Giving into temptation is like walking into a den of lions saying, “Here, bite me.” Giving into sin no matter how great or small, sin is sin, and being fully aware of what we are doing, is surrendering ourselves to evil. And when you do that, spiritual slumps like what I experienced are what come of it.

If you never experience a spiritual slump I think it’s safe to say you aren’t spiritual. People who aren’t struggling are the people who are standing off to the side of the battlefield concerned in their own affairs, not even aware that there is a battle-taking place. Let me assure you I was that person, I’ve seen some very dark times in my life. But sometimes it’s only then that you know what it means to tap into the light. And let me also say there are more people standing off to the side than actually fighting the battle. Why would I say that? Well how about we turn on the television? Watch the news, catch the latest movie about friends with benefits and see how the media has become so sexually oriented we now get to see a woman selling real estate on a billboard sign by showing her cleavage. Cleavage now even sells homes. Wow. Way to go America. How did it happen that in the last 60 years or so a commercial shown today would not be allowed to be aired back then? How did it happen that our music went from singing about your true love for your “Baby” to rapping about your true addiction to the act of making a baby? How did it happen that our president who, after thousands of years of human history, a Harvard law degree, and four years in the White House, cannot tell us with certainty what he thinks marriage or life is? I’ll tell you how, people stopped fighting the good fight and stood off to the side letting the enemy have open fire on our troops. I’m not talking in Afghanistan, I’m talking right here in America. Right down to every home and every school out there. People have become numb to this spiritual war, not realizing the wounds they are inflicting on themselves by progressing in every way but the soul itself.

Call me crazy. Call me too conservative. Call me self-righteous. Jesus too heard things like this from the Pharisees, but he kept on. When he came back to preach in his hometown he was even called “out of his mind” by his own relatives for his beliefs. How cool is that to follow someone that in his time was called “out of his mind”? If I could even amount to one of his toenails by the time I am done fighting this battle I will have accomplished something. I am a sinner. I will fail. I will get wounded in battle, many times because of my own lack of awareness and unpreparedness, but I will not stand to the side pretending as if there is not a battle to be fought. I will fight. Turning to the last chapter of the Good Book, it is evident who wins. And as I stand there on judgment day I want God to look at me and know that although I failed miserably, countless times, I was fighting for the winning team. In the end, that should be the only progress that matters.

I will end this little rant and rave by stating something that happened to me last night, clarifying that life is indeed about the little things. While I was telling my friend that I was in a spiritual dry spell I receive a text from my aunt saying, “Meant to tell you that I used you as an example in group the other day of letting God orchestrate your life for you. It has been fun to watch you follow his lead. Keep your heart open to his call and although there will be struggles, you will be happiest doing his will.” Don’t believe for a second that God doesn’t use people in your life to get you motivated about him. I didn’t tell my aunt I was struggling and somehow God had her type the very words I needed to hear to get me going again. Coincidences are God’s plan. Every time.