2014 - It's Not Your Year

Happy New Year to all who read this, and welcome to the year 2014. Another year has come and gone, faster than the last, and here we are again being tested already with our new year resolutions. It's been over a week now, and many of us have given up on that idea of going to the gym, especially after this cold weather, right? Who needs the gym when you have a couch and a warm blanket? If you are like me you come up with so many new ideas for the new year, the challenges seem a little overwhelming. I like a good challenge, but to admit to myself that I've failed yet again is no self esteem booster by any means. So my roommate says to me, "Well, just don't set any resolutions! Then you can't fail. Let's be honest, you say you are going to do a lot of things you never really do." Ouch, that was a stinger, but I thanked her for her honesty.

I chewed on that thought a bit, but to not set a goal just didn't seem right. In my mind it is better to set goals and not achieve them, then to not have any goals at all. But again, what is the point of having a goal for myself, when I give in too easy? Oh, the struggle. This last summer I wrote myself a letter titled, "Self-Improvement Letter". It read "Megan, In order for you to be a successful person who enjoys life and finds happiness in all you do, you must do these things every day." I listed 8 bullet points. Seemed simple enough. Well, I recently read over this letter, realizing I have not followed through with my promises to myself. And again, it seems all I have are good intentions. I once read in a book by my favorite author, Matthew Kelly, "If you want to measure the amount of happiness in your life, you must first measure the amount of discipline in your life. You cannot have one without the other." And here I am admitting I am not as disciplined as my intentions scream I am. My body rules my soul a good 75% of the time. Fail, fail, fail. 

Am I too hard on myself? Probably. But as I read over the list of things that I believe will make me happy I realized that all but one of them are things that I physically and mentally should do FOR MYSELF. These tasks, whether they were reading a chapter of a book, reflecting and praying, or going to the gym, were for MY OWN self improvement and for MY OWN knowledge. Then there was the one bullet point that read "Go out of your way to do something nice for someone, every single day." This had nothing to do with me, and yet, this bullet point held all the power and happiness in the world. To give selflessly of our time, our talents, and our treasures is where true happiness can be found. Sure it makes us feel good when we lose a few pounds, but why? Is it because our bodies actually feel better, or because we just expect a compliment in return for our hard work?

I will be blunt and say it...we live in one of the most narcissistic times the world has ever seen. It has become a natural habit to put ourselves before others. Society screams individuality, independence, go out and get what is yours, do this for you, etc. Yet there are so many unhappy people "chasing their dreams". Why? We are too caught up. Too caught up in what we can do for ourselves. When has it ever been about us? What verse in the bible says, "In all you do, think of only how you will benefit, and how you can look good."? It seems all we do in life is try to impress others, to find the end result in making ourselves feel good. What presidents, public figures, and saints do we love reading about and referring to most? The ones that put other people first. The ones that sacrificed some of their own time for someone else's. 10 years from now, no one will remember you for losing 20 pounds, for having the most money, for the car you drove, for the awards you received, for the places you've visited, and the for the books you've read. People remember what you do for them. People remember kindness, compassion, and empathy. In the end, nothing else really matters, literally.

So if you have failed yourself already this year, it's okay. Let this year be about what you can do for others, what you can achieve by helping a friend, or even a stranger. Trust me when I say this, the more you are doing something for someone else, the more motivated you become in improving yourself. So the only addition I would make to Matthew Kelly's quote is this, "If you want to measure the amount of happiness in your life, first you must measure the amount of discipline, and second, you must measure the amount of time you are giving to those around you." Let 2014 be someone else's year. Who's year are you going to change?