2013, Year of Cupid's Arrow

There comes a certain point in everyone's life when they look down at their glass of water, then stop mid drink, take a look around them, and have an epiphany, "There's something in this drinking water." I had this realization at about 7:52am this morning while standing at the sink in my pajamas. I spit out my water and quickly switched to coffee with this daunting thought in mind, "Kearney water, or maybe just Nebraska water, makes everyone fall in love and get engaged." Then, I looked at my City of Kearney bill sitting on the table, realizing the due date is drawing near, and see it yelling back at me, "You owe $72 dollars!" How dare you Kearney, make me drink your water and then charge me to potentially get engaged.

Okay so maybe that theory is a bit far fetched? But it's obvious that 2013 is the year of engagement and even weddings for that matter, or at least it is on Facebook terms. Beautiful rings and smiles, cupid hearts, flowers, skittle rainbows, bubbly wine glasses, unicorns, life events revealed on Facebook statuses, butterfly tummies, chocolate strawberries, high pitched giggles, sparkles and glitter, (I'm getting carried away aren't I?) Well, to say the least, people are in love around here. I just witnessed Bernard the squirrel pull out a ring while gracefully dancing among the branches outside my window this morning. Pretty cool seeing a squirrel get on his knee. He told Esther he would give her all the acorns in the world. What female squirrel could pass up that offer? Naturally she said yes.

Now I realize this story is written by a woman who has not been in a relationship since the school musical in high school, (even then, it was still just acting), so one may think this view is rather biased and all this sarcasm is just a way to disguise bitterness at the core. Well, good assumption naturally, but no. I just like to write stories. And this story has been waiting to be told. There is just so much love and romance in the air, so I had to address it. Now that I think about it, maybe there's a conspiracy theory the government is scheming. Could it be? Could all of you lovers really be secret agents in some sort of Engagement Conspiracy. You tricksters. Caught ya!

Since I was born in the year of the Dragon, the Chinese proverb states, "You prefer to be alone." (Which is ironically quite true most days). Thanks a lot mom and dad. And also, since Joan of Arc is my patron saint, that makes me a fighting single white female. You go girl. Oh sarcasm, how I love to insert you randomly. Anyway, if it isn't obvious already, I will not be joining all you lovers out there on your walk down Cupid Shuffle Road any time soon, but wanted to congratulate all my engaged friends, two who just happen to be my roommates, and do so in my own quirky way. I wish you all the best!

To the rest of you who find yourselves in the single status, remember this story next time you take a drink of water...