The Athlete

As a retired college athlete I have been trying to somehow find a new identity, one that not only portrays who I am but will allow me to be happy. This is a challenge, as several before me can probably attest to. The problem lies in front of every individual, where do I turn to now? Before this, we had a routine about our lives. We would train and train some more, compete and then compete some more. This went on for years and years of our lives and became a part of us inside and out. So naturally the body and the mind need something to fill that void. The mental toughness we used to endure the pain, the ability to take out our anger and our fears in the very practice fields where we spent the majority of our years have not an exact place in our lives at this time. So instead of taking those things up with a ball and hoop and a little aggression we turn to other things in a state of confusion.

Many of us will turn to the bottle to wash away the day’s worries, others will open the fridge in hopes of finding a food that can clear up any concerns we have about life, others will strive to possess the best of everything by making success and riches their new number one goal. And still others will just roam aimlessly, trying one new thing after the next until they have finally found their new niche in life after no longer being known as an athlete. Well I have decided one thing is for sure in my life. I’m turning to something different. I will always be an athlete, but not in the same sense. You see I have struggled immensely in my faith the last several years in college. I would be so sure I was on the right track and then God would throw in a loophole that would put me in a spiritual bind. I gave up at times and turned to things I shouldn’t have for comfort. I tried and tried my best but the temptations of life always pulled me under, and the tragedies I had to persevere were wearing on my heart and soul. But after every downhill slope there is a climb, and the last few months I have been climbing this mountain God has placed in front of me. I have no idea what is in store for me as I slowly propel myself higher but am excited for what is to come. For so long I stood in the valley and stared up at the mountain thinking I would never even attempt to set foot on it so instead I went about my own ways. But I was starving spiritually and very “out of shape” athletically speaking.

I finally realized I am an athlete at heart and God is training me for the biggest event of my life. Eternity. He has been training me all my life and just as I suffered injuries in basketball I must suffer the difficulties of life as well. After every injury there is a state of rehabilitation and if not done properly, what ever was broken, bruised or strained, will not heal correctly. Well, I know I have some broken pieces about my heart and soul and maybe they will never fully recover to as good as new, but I no longer want to just sit on the sidelines and let the game of life pass before my eyes. I am an athlete and want to compete. God is my coach and I am ready to listen. Although I may not agree with all his coaching tactics and his training techniques I must trust in him that he is preparing me to compete and to achieve the ultimate goal we all strive for, greater than any championship ring or trophy; the ability to say we were a Winner in his eyes as he greets us at the gates of Heaven. There are some who, in this game, will naturally succeed and not struggle as much as others, or will not have to work quite as hard in their training. I know I am not one of those. I am one of the chosen that is to be tested repeatedly, to gain full preparation of what is to come. I accept this task God has given me, and know that he trusts me with the game ball in my hands to do the right thing even when it seems the score in life is in favor of the other side.

The Cave

This song is originally done by Mumford and Sons, which is probably the better version but I think this cover is pretty sweet.

Lyrics to The Cave :
It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's hand

So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

Teeter-Totter

I have compared life to many things and taken a look at it from all different angles but this analogy leads me to the image of a teeter-totter. Here we are thinking we are always at the bottom you know? Our butt is on the ground and we look up seeing that person above us on the other side. There they are, all smiles like they are practically flying in that blue-sky background. We want what they have so we push off thinking maybe we can achieve something great. But what we don’t realize about teeter-totters is that they go up and down not just up and up. So no matter what we always end up on the ground at some point only wanting more. This leaves us feeling so upset and unsatisfied. Then we start thinking that the chair on the other side is looking very appealing so we make the trek over to try out life on the other side of the teeter-totter. But no matter how hard we try we still end up staring at the sky wondering how we are ever going to stay off the ground. I have an idea. Go to the center of the teeter-totter and put one foot on one side and one foot on the other. You will see both sides above ground at once. This is called balance.

She is Every Woman

She longs for a time, that exact moment when she knew the world was different. She understood only that her world was changing but she never knew how changed it would make her. She desires to go back. Go back to when it was all so simple. Before that moment she knew nothing but living. She dressed in the mornings and ran out to the day waiting to greet her. Rainy days couldn’t make her sad because it was only rain. When she was by herself she was not lonely but free to think and just be. When she was outside in the presence of the sun she took advantage of every ray that fell upon her face. She loved. Loved everything in sight and all the people around her, and they loved her back. Nobody depended on her and nobody judged her. Nobody expected anything great from her; she felt no pressure. She was a child.

Now she is grown and longs for at least one day to be innocent and free. She never meant to get rid of that innocent freedom she possessed. Who took it from her? She was only a girl, just trying to soak up the world around her and enjoy life, but instead the world took advantage of her eagerness to live. They took a piece of her away with every bit of knowledge she consumed. They chipped away at her soul, leaving her feeling a sort of emptiness that she thought only the world could return to her. How did it happen? She only wanted to grow up and experience the world and take advantage of all it had to offer, but now she realizes the world was in fact the only thing that wouldn’t allow her to gain any experience at all. They lied to her telling her she would become mature and smart and pretty and well liked by all. She started depending on the world to feel good instead of just living in it, thriving on every detail thrown her way. She did so much in fact that she is more helpless now than the child she was before. As a child her eyes were open to possibilities and now they are open to knowledge and experience she thinks she could have done without. Now she depends on the people around her to acquire that happiness that used to come so easy to her. People depend on her now as well so she puts others lives in front of her own, leaving her wondering what it was she wanted to be when she grew up. And she’s grown up. This isn’t what she chose is it? Who is she? She is every woman out there right now recapping her life up until this point wanting to move forward but not sure in which direction to take a step. She is every woman out there who feels there is that tiny bit of innocent freedom left that she clings onto so tightly hoping she has a chance. She is every woman with an old dream. She is every woman looking for a change. She is every woman.

Chess

Life is like a game of chess you see. We start out with a fair chance. We are up against the world as we make our first move. Which piece shall we be today, the Pawn, the Knight, the King? What we don’t understand until the game is over is that we were not any of those pieces at all. We were individuals, human beings, created by God to make our own choices and determine our own happiness. We were supposed to be the player who made the choices in life but instead we became the pieces and let life play us. We accepted our role as the Bishop thinking we could only move in diagonal directions and there was nothing we could do about it. We accepted our role as the Pawn thinking we could only take baby steps forward and our function was less important than those around us. Instead of being the player and thinking for ourselves we allowed others to move us in directions that ended up taking a piece of our self worth away. We got so caught up in the game that we lost sight of why were even playing in the first place. Take a look around you. You are no carved out little game piece on a game board. You are the decision maker and you must not accept any role but that. When life takes a piece away you must not accept defeat. You have choices, utilize all of them, and don’t become comfortable. Oh the possibilities you will have when you realize there is life outside of the game board. There is life when you truly decide to live.

Contradiction

Trapped
Trapped in the rut of every day life
Trapped in the constant dreaming of tomorrow
Trapped in motionless discovery of my problems
Trapped in knowing what is the right choice
Trapped in to doing what society wants

Freed
Freed from the guilt that possessed my spirit
Freed from the shackles that kept me so still
Freed from the responsibility of others
Freed from the comfortable feeling of routine
Freed to live and truly LIVE

Navigate

Survival of the fittest. This used to mean the strongest fastest and more often than not smartest creature remained at the top of the food chain. Back in the day we had to scrap for every little ounce of food and water and make do with a couple of logs thrown together for a shelter. And most importantly we needed to know how to navigate. Those things determined our survival. Well in today’s society most of us are not concerned with surviving in the “old fashioned” sense. To survive in today’s world means to make it through another day at work, or to be able to sit through your niece’s piano recital without falling asleep. Oh we have it rough now don’t we? We have become so numb to the essentials in life we have forgotten the most important one. Navigation. How is navigation at the top of the list?

Well, food is food. We can find that just about anywhere and in most places ALL YOU CAN EAT food. Food, check. Water. We have come up with so many substitutes for water, that actual water hardly exists in most people’s consumption of liquids anyway. Water, check. Shelter. Well considering now, we all try and compete with each other seeing who’s house is best decorated, what the bedroom to bathroom ratio is, and whether or not you have an island in your kitchen, I think shelter is more of a show than a need these days. Shelter, check. So that leads us back to navigation. Well back in the day when people were lost in the mountains, the desert, the jungle, they had to know how to navigate to survive right? Right. Today people do not consider themselves lost but if we stopped and asked ourselves one simple question, how would we answer, “Are you navigating your own life right now?” You have to know where you came from, you have to know where you’re going, and it’s probably not a bad idea to pinpoint where you are right now. A lot of people cannot answer any of those three questions and this includes myself a lot of times. Where did I come from? Where am I going? Where am I now? This, my friends, is called being LOST. Just because we are not in the jungle or desert or mountains or out at sea does not mean we need to throw the compos away. It is essential. Now I for one can admit I have thrown my compos down and thought I could handle the world on my own, but I got lost at sea in a hurry. There I was just floating through life not even aware that my ship was going down in a hurry. I sunk my anchor but wondered why I wasn’t getting anywhere. You see, we get so comfortable in one little part of our world, we sink our anchors and then we get stuck. We need to be on a MISSION.

Going through life without knowing why we are taking each breath is a sad thing isn’t it? If you are going through life for the money, your anchor is sunk; you are stuck. If you are going through life for the pleasure, your anchor is sunk; you are stuck. If you are going through life to see how many friends you can make, your anchor is sunk; you are stuck. We get so caught up in the everyday hustle and bustle we think the GPS system has our back. Uh huh. Well I don’t know about you but it seems like technology has taken over everything these days. Is it taking over our reason for being? Or are we making our ‘beings’ be controlled by everything around us? Hmmm. Check. Check. Scientists are trying with all their might to invent smart and useful robots to join us in our day-to-day lives. Well, all I have to say about that is go walk down the street and you have a pretty good chance of running into one. We are living robotic lives. Everywhere you go, there are robots, just wandering. No compos, no motives, no idea why they are putting their left foot in front of their right, but they are. Robots CAN’T navigate. Snap out of it everybody. Strip off that robotic metal down to your flesh and live for real. Let us reel in our anchors in life and get on a mission. Where are we going? And most importantly why are we here?